Being a fairly reasonable person, I try to censor myself with my blog postings. I don't want to offend others, I don't want to add more inappropriate material for youngsters to grab onto, and mostly, I don't want to sacrifice my ego/pride by posting my "dirty" goings-on in my life. And while you will not find porn or any of that nonsense on my blog, I will be honest about my unpleasant health conditions, including Crohn's Disease. So here goes. Here are a few of my dirty health secrets that are present in my life right now.

***I just turned 27 last week and yesterday I had to rig an adult diaper out of what I had on hand because I can't hold my bowels. I cried and cried and cried. I also haven't been able to call it an adult diaper until just now. I much prefer the term "padded undergarment protection". And I won't buy Depends because I am in denial over this loss. So until then, I just use the humongous serenity pads and other assorted items. All because I am pigheaded.***

&&&I had my second capsule endoscopy last week. It is not a hard test, just long and boring. NPO at 10 P.M. the night before and the morning of the exam. Get to the hospital at 7 A.M., swallow a capsule that contains a camera, attach a harness with a little reader machine thingy to your side and walk around for the next 8 hours. You are allowed to have liquids about 3 hours into the good time. Then a small soft/liquid lunch is allowed an hour later. At the end of 8 hours, you report back and remove the harness, etc. and you are free to go. So, not bad, just loooooonnnnnnngggggggggg. Yesterday, the surgical RN just called to tell me that the friggin capsule/camera stayed in my stomach for the entire 8 hours. It didn't pass to the other areas of my intestines that needed to be checked for active CD. And now I have to go back and have them do another endoscopy to place the camera in my bowels. So they are just going to go in from the top and drop that sucker down. AND because narcotics slow down GI motility, the docs will try to do all of this with just some numbing spray applied to the back of my throat. With my gag reflex, I am not looking forward to this at all! Apparently this happens to a small amount of patients, according to my surgical RN. Freaking great.&&&

^^^I also have a condition called Hidradentitis Suppurativa. It causes my body to form cysts under my arms, around my breasts, and in my groin area. Patients are told to stop shaving body hair and discontinue use of deodorant. Yeah that is sexy. smirk. The treatment involved daily antibiotics, topical creams & washes, steroid shots in said parts of body, and then the best part of all - surgical incision & drainage. I have had the I&Ds done probably 15 times total on both underarms and groin. I currently have 2 cysts active, each the size of a ping pong ball - YOWSERS. These are quite painful, sometimes to the point where I can't have my underarms touching my trunk, because of the abscesses. Last week I was told by my dermatologist (who had diagnosed & treated me for the last 2 years), that the cysts are so deep and involved with muscle tissue, that his practice would not be able to perform any more incisions. They told me to find a general surgeon that could remove that quantity of cells. Pass the buck on Beth. Not a fun game at all. ^^^ Add all of this to a separate condition, PCOS, that results in excessive facial hair and increased testosterone, and you have me. So yesterday, I bought myself 7 beautiful red/yellow cut tulips for a mere $2.46. Because I deserve a little something beautiful to make me smile. Especially on sale for less than three bucks!