Happy October ~ Fall into your feelings

~~~According to some, we are only as sick as the secrets we keep, so I have decided to post this letter regarding the innermost workings of my Self.~~~

Dear God,
I haven't written in some time, I haven't seen a need to. But of course now, after being disappointed, I want to give you a little feedback (cocky little humans, i know).

First of all, the foster care denial was a low blow; that one hurt like a mamajama. I am still reeling from that smack o' god. As You know, however, that I am trying to work through this pain with my therapist. At this point, I am past understanding the logic behind such a decision, and am working towards acceptance of this big ole blob of Youpoo that has splattered in my life. If you were like we are, I would assign this action as one of vengeance, a gigantic tactical move to destroy my ego, very effective, but then why would You be God? I am clearly still trudging through this situation, clearly.

Secondly, I would like to say thanks for the butterfly today. As I was waiting for the stoplight, a butterfly came straight at the car, landed, then took flight again. That was a nice little bright spot in my day, and I do appreciate it, truly. However, I feel that I must mention one tiny little detail; a butterfly does not bring Dad back. I know that You love all of Your creatures, great and small, but I feel it necessary to mention the inequality of this trade. I realize that I should probably be acknowledging some greater truth here, but I am going to have to go all "human" on You, and express my confusion here..What the..??? Theoretically, if I believe that Life after Death is the wonderland described as Heaven, I should be alright with Dad's death, however, once again, my own selfishness is priority.

Thirdly, and finally, what do You want me to do now? My plans have been uprooted, my life has been turned around, so what next? What path do You want me to follow now? I will be checking emails, text messages, and instant messages to hopefully find Your answers to my questions. Thank You kindly, Beth P.

P.S. Thanks also for the beautiful weather, my wonderful hubby, and our great fatty puppydog. ;)