Oh Joy the holidays...

It seems that the holidays are upon us. Along with the gift of salvation for all who want it, I have also received the gift of humility. Yay....Somehow, my once graceful body has lost it's coordination. Thus far, I have busted my big toe (repeatedly), fallen out of bed and busted up both knees, and acquired a large number of bruises. I have also fallen/slipped nearly every time I enter our bathroom and every time I enter or exit my car. In addition to this, I have also managed to tick off every health-care provider that I have ever had any contact with, in an attempt to get my mediport flushed. I do better understand the whole addiction mentality though, as I walk the streets of this town, searching out a doctor who actually knows what a port is and can figure out how to write a hospital order to have it flushed once every two months. Just a little FYI, a mediport is a permanent titanium port that is surgically implanted in the chest with a line that goes straight to the arteries of the heart. It is used for infusions, injections, labs, etc. when your veins have been ruined by prednisone, chemo, remicade, etc. So, that has been my December thus far. And though I know that it isn't PC, I would like to include an interesting analogy from the writers of Bones, a forensic science show that I viewed last night, paraphrased of course.

FBI Catholic Guy: Voodoo is silly. Watch me mock it for the entire hour-long episode. Ha ha. These voodoo priests and the believers are so silly. It only has power on those who believe in it, so just don't believe in that hoodlum religion. Dang, I am such a nice catholic boy in my smart suit and tie.

Scientific non-religious forensic Gal: Voodoo is a religion that these people believe in. Don't mock them dummy. Just shut it up and give me some loving, sweet cheeks.

FBI Guy: In a minute, hottie. These crazy folks believe that you can turn cadavers into zombies. And I know that is just plain old silly. Luckily, I also know that if given the chance, I would overcome my Catholic guilt and ravage your non-Catholic body all night long, lady friend.

Gal: Wait til the commercial break lover. Is Voodoo really so different from your belief system? Blah blah blah ~some valid points in here~. What they call spells and magic, your kind call miracles. I mean didn't Jesus return from the dead 3 days after being killed? So, isn't Jesus kind of a zombie too?


Guy: Very enthusiastically: JESUS IS NOT A ZOMBIE!


The End. Enjoy.