My drug of choice...

It has been my experience that folks in recovery type meetings often talk about their drug of choice, sometimes alcohol, or cocaine, but also food, shopping, cigarettes and everything else in between. My drug of choice is the sweet smell of Lysol wipes, or spray, or even bathroom cleaner. I don't mean that I actually ingest this product, but using it to clean my home makes me feel like I have won the battle over germs for just a little while. And as with most addictions, it often takes more and more quantities of a product to elicit a pleasurable response. Therefore, while during the early stages of my OCD I may have only needed to spray the trash cans and laundry baskets with Lysol, I now find myself scouring the tables, desk, and bookshelves with the Lysol wipes as well. I also spray my furniture, bedding, and carpeting with a number of products promising to kill 99.99% of bacteria in just an instant. And while many people often wish for such a condition, I got to tell you, it isn't as great as it may seem. A week after abdominal surgery last year, I was released from the hospital and went home. My sister and her boyfriend came to visit me, and to give my hubby a break from my constant neediness. Sadly though, it wasn't just the normal post-op needs that most patients have. I do recall, even though I was heavily drugged, that as soon as my sis came in to our home, I was up off the couch for a quick hug, and then was commenting on the heavy dust build-up under the couch. When Jennifer walked in, I should have seen a beautiful and caring sister, coming to help me out. And I did appreciate her lovely face momentarily, but as soon as the sunlight filled the doorway, I was instantly more concerned with dust & dog fur under the couch. How sad is that? Really? I recognize that my priorities can get out of whack, and that family is always more important than anything else. And today, as I do a week's worth of laundry, with an arsenal of Lysol, dryer sheets, bleach, laundry detergent, fabric softener, and spray & wash, I try to keep things in perspective. Clean clothes are good. Clean & sanitized kitchen and bathrooms are even better. But (and I type this grudgingly) a spotless house is not the most important thing in my life. And so just for today, I will let the dust bunnies accumulate under the bed and the couches, and I will be okay with that. Just for today. Teeth gritted. White-knuckling it. Pepsi flowing through my veins. Prozac to follow. ; )

Actually, Prozac can be useful as a treatment for Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, but only in fairly high doses (according to what I have researched). I, myself, do not take Prozac for OCD, though I would be interested in hearing from others who have successfully found ways to deal with their OCD. If you take nothing else from this post, remember that you are not alone.